“Welcome, brothers of the Cult of Endings! We gather here today to-“
A cough, a rustle, a raised hand.
“…yes?”
“Brothers and sisters of the Cult of Endings.”
“…are you really hung up on that point? I mean. It doesn’t seem that important. We’re bringing about the apocalypse here.”
“Look, Dave, just because we’re apocalypse cultists doesn’t mean we can’t be egalitarian.”
“First, Jennifer, it’s High Priest David while we’re here, and second, fine, welcome brothers and sisters of the Cult of Endings. Happy?”
“Very.”
“Good, now, on to the first order of business. Oh, dammit. What is it, Brother Death?”
“I feel like we need to rethink the name. “The Cult of Endings” feels weak.”
“We’re trying to end the world here! Does it matter what name we have?”
“Of course it matters! Would you want to have the world ended by a cult calling themselves “The Brotherhood of Flowers and Ponies”? No, you wouldn’t. We should get a better name.”
“…fine. Anyone have any better suggestions?”
“The Cult of Death and Despair?”
“The Cult of Ultimate Demise!”
“Ooh! How about The Brotherhood of Impending Doom?”
“No, not the brotherhood, the Sisterhood of Impending Doom.”
“Okay, okay, how about the Order of Impending Doom?”
“Ooh, yeah, nice one, Jeff.”
“Thanks!”
“WE’RE NOT CALLING OURSELVES ANY OF THOSE THINGS! THOSE ARE ALL EVEN WORSE!“
Welcome to The Cultists, a lighthearted spoof of the eldritch horror genre! This will be an adventurous romp through a world of elder gods, blood sacrifices, and decaying sanity. Grab your Pocket Necronomicon, scoop up your chalice of sheep’s blood substitute, and come down to your local cult chapter!
Hosted and narrated by:
Gavriel Budvietas (Silent_Interim)
Started 09/02/17.
Scenes played: 0
License: Community License w/ Creative Commons
